Trout Republic: Let me know how I can help

This past week brought sad news to our neighbors as their mother passed away somewhat unexpectedly. She and Magic Mike were married 55 years and had eight children -- all of which are fine citizens and would make any parent proud.


But as with each of us, there comes a day when we cross the great divide into the Heavenly realm and she is now on a journey of immense proportions.


They had a plethora of friends including Ol’ Dutch and Miss Trixie and so were comforted during this time of sadness in their lives.


Now Ol’ Dutch has been around the merry-go-round more times than he likes to admit as evidenced by the sure to be four alarm blaze from the candles on my upcoming June 10 birthday cake.


But in those long years, I’ve noticed something about hard times and especially funerals. Well-meaning people come out of the woodwork, some for news of a possible inheritance and others to comfort and console those who have lost a family member. And it is to those that this column is dedicated today.


Stand around long enough at the wake, viewing, potluck, funeral service or graveside and you will hear everyone offering to help out the dearly-left-here folks with “anything you need, just call.”


I got to thinking about that and how we have let that slide in the past. Maybe, the next time we get a chance, we need to shake down some of that goodwill and get help around the home place.


Magic Mike has a massive truck garden, hay fields, orchards and pecan trees and he is thinking about the hundreds of offers he had and so came up with the idea to inventory the skills of each well-meaning or slightly inebriated well-wisher so that his request of them is in their wheelhouse.


Who cannot use a good house cleaner around? And what person doesn’t need an attorney, doctor, dentist, garden worker, policeman, notary public, hay baler and pastor at times.


Well maybe not the pastor as they will come any way at the drop of a hat if you get more than two people to preach to or at --- whichever is the case. But you get my drift.


We have long let people get by with telling us their good intentions without actually taking them up on the offers and really, if you think about it, we have robbed them of the pleasure of helping out a friend in need. For you see it’s not about us and our losses anymore but it’s about the old adage “it’s more blessed to give than receive.” And we sure don’t want to deny a friend or enemy of a certain blessing by giving to us.


Ol’ Dutch thinks that instead of a visitors book at the funeral, we need a tome to capture the people willing to help out “whenever and whatever you need me for.”


This may catch on as we’ll name it what it really is: Empty Promises. The good news is that it will greatly reduce the number of attendees at said events and will also save having to provide a lot of pulled pork and fried chicken at the wake for hungry mourners.


Last funeral I attended was Miss Trixie’s mother’s funeral and I can recall about 300 people promising the moon to her dad and her at that time. And I think it’s about time that they start bellying up to the proverbial bar and helping out with the cooking and cleaning and mowing too.


It’s the least they can do after such a scrumptious meal they served at the wake and after Ol’ Dutch sang such lovely and moving renditions of sad and melodious songs. After all, they really didn’t sing for their supper and it’s far past time for them to come good on those deathbed promises.


Get your Empty Promises books here and get documented proof before it’s too late. Time is a-wasting.

Kevin Kirkpatrick and his Yorkie, Cooper, fish, hunt, ATV or hike daily. His email is [email protected]. Additional news can be found at www.troutrepublic.com or on Twitter at TroutRepublic